Your post reminds me of the day I was the only person in the room when they closed and locked my mother's casket. I was surprised at how my tears flowed. Why? Short story - I distanced myself from dear Mum decades prior based on her Catholic beliefs pertaining to same-sex oriented souls.

Before her death I envisioned a ocean-size sense of relief on the day I learned of her death. No more forced familial duties to navigate (holidays, et. al.)

In the moment I heard her casket locks click before being wheeled to her waiting hearse I experienced a tsunami of grief I was completely unaware of.

Lesson learned? No matter how much I thought (mind space) I prepared for Mom's death - my heart reminded me of what life is all about. Love. Unconditional love.

Matthew - your desire to unconditionally love your parents more - daily - brilliant.

Topic turn change - Mahalo (thanks) for the follow ;)