Aloha Marco, your transparency - delicious! Mahalo for allowing others to peek inside to learn what many spiritual teachers face. The call to be of service balanced with responsibilities.

While there's the reality that nothing is guaranteed - including a paycheck from an established employer - there IS the reality of listening to your inner voice - and honoring it - wholeheartedly - true?

For those who hire independent, self-employed teachers (like you and I ) one day, clients / students will realize they'll receive far more value than the funds they paid you. I speak from first - hand experience. When that day arrives, I sense a profound sense of peace.

May your path be graced with endless, effortless ease.